I think she'd join in, really. [A soft chuckle, because while Steven is not a violent person, he understands why Harrow would infuriate anyone enough to get a punch in the face. He has quite the punchable personality.
Steven worries his lip for a minute as he tries to figure out how to explain this without upsetting Hawke, but there really is no good way about it...]
Harrow technically... erm... killed us. Marc and I. [He shifts hands to squeeze Hawke's leg again instead.] But we survived as well. It's a long story. Layla and Khonshu saved us.
[Much as he hates to admit the bird god did anything to help them, he can't deny that.]
But no, he very much shot us with full intent of ending our lives, and it worked... for a while. It's hard to be remorseful for a man who was so quick to get rid of us simply for getting in his way.
[ Now Hawke's wings do flare with a surge of bone deep anger. The sort of anger Hawke's felt only a few times in his life. Like the explosion at Kirkwall. Like listen to Danarius talk about Fenris as a possession. Like Meredith lecturing him on the danger of mages.
Oh, this Harrow has made an enemy in him. Hawke doesn't care about anything else. This man, no matter what, will see no sympathy or empathy from Hawke. Ever. ]
I don't think he deserves an bit of your remorse or pity or time of day. Let him rot here.
[It's the kind of reaction he expected and although he doesn't want Hawke to go after Harrow, it felt important for him to know how far the man was willing to go once upon a time. Perhaps even more so in a realm where death is not permanent and consequences seem limited.
A selfish part of him likes knowing that Hawke would be so upset on his behalf, so protective.]
I know. He really doesn't but- [But what? There's no good way to end that thought and Steven knows it.
He sighs again, tipping his head back against Hawke's arm as he gazes at the ceiling.]
It's strange. I would never thank him for it, obviously, but death brought Marc and I closer together. I learned the truth about myself. Everything I was kept in the dark about for so long. I... don't know if Marc would have ever explained it all to me had we not died. I know that sounds so bonkers.
[ The anger lingers a bit but his wings settle down. They won't be overwhelmed by the heat of them. Looking at Steven's handsome features helps as well. ]
Oh, it's absolutely insane. [ There's nothing about this that sounds reasonable or rational or logical. Hawke is amused by that. ] But this place is also insane so what's the difference really?
[ He shrugs. ] You did come back to life, right? You weren't brought here from some afterlife? Because you said you stopped him?
[ Hawke believes that Steven would've told him about being dead when they were revealing deep truths to each other. ]
You're not wrong there. [He laughs some under his breath because Folkmore really is insane in a lot of ways. Steven strongly thought so since the moment he arrived a little over a year ago.]
Yes, we came back to life. It's a long story but we had to reunite with Khonshu, serve him again... [Steven has explained Khonshu and his powers to Hawke before, or at least done his best to.] But for a while... we were in the afterlife. A version of it at least. Seeing and experiencing that was-... it's changed my perspective on so much.
[He squirms in a little closer to Hawke.]
I don't know if the Chantry teaches anything about that? Do people in Thedas believe in life after death?
Hawke hums for a minute as he tries to think of how to explain it. He listened to Chantry teachings, of course, when he was younger but he's not theologian or anything.
"There's a realm beyond the Fade where souls go when we die to rest by the Maker's side," he explains. "That's the best we've got for an afterlife."
It's really the best he can offer. Hawke isn't a fan of the Chantry and he suspects he won't be going to the Maker's side when he dies. Mostly because of all the blasphemy.
"There used to be the Golden City but once Tevinter Magisters walked in that things were ruined."
[Steven nods as he listens to the explanation. The Chantry readings are a section of Thedas' history he hasn't delved too deep into yet, if only because Steven isn't a huge fan of religious texts, but he wants to understand more anyway.]
Yes, I remember reading about that Coryphallus fellow?
[The mispronunciation is totally unintentional, he swears...]
I'd say what we experienced was similar but, I suppose, it was more like the journey to the Maker's side, without quite reaching it. [He pauses, his voice quieting with fondness as he adds:] Actually, Marc himself reached it, but he abandoned that life of eternal peace to come back and save me, so. I can't be too upset, can I?
Coryphius is the "proper" name but I like yours better. [ If that bastard ever shows up in Folkmore Hawke will have a grand old time killing him over and over and over again. ] He claimed to be one of the Magisters that walked in the Golden City but who knows how much of that is true.
[ It could be the ramblings of a Darkspawn gone mad in prison. Hawke doesn't know and frankly doesn't care much. ]
Oh, don't make me like your brother. [ He groans dramatically. ] I'm trying to have a good rivalry here.
Sounds like something those who consider themselves god-like would say. [He shakes his head, knowing enough from Hawke's personal stories to understand the connection he has to Corypheus. As awful as Harrow is, he doesn't even compare to the likes of that.
The reaction to Marc saving him earns a wider smile and Steven leans in to kiss his partner's cheek.]
You can still be rivals but respect him, yeah? Or at least be grateful he saved my life. [Steven's expression softens.] I don't want to think about the alternative. Not a fate I'd have wished upon my worst enemy.
[Another sigh, and Steven rests his head upon Hawke's shoulder.] I'm glad I can talk about these things freely now. Perhaps I'm being a little too cautious but better safe than sorry.
[ Hawke gently cradles Steven's cheek in his hand and kisses his temple tenderly. ] I'm very grateful. I don't like to imagine my life without you in it.
[ That doesn't mean he and Marc will ever get along but he knows without Marc there is no Steven and that is not a thought Hawke likes to entertain for long. He's been there and does not want to be there again. ]
I'm glad for the warning. I'll be careful around him. Even if I believe I can handle him myself. [ He lets Steven get comfortable before making sure his arm is nice and secure around him. ] We can keep an eye on him together.
What would you have done if we didn't meet here? Crumble without me, clearly. [He teases fondly, a warmth in his chest in hearing the sweet words from Hawke. Honestly, Steven can't picture what it would be like without him here anymore either. He's become a staple in his life, his routine.] I can't imagine not having you or Montoya in my life either.
[He reaches to put the half drunk tea down so he can pet Montoya's head freely again, and curl up into Hawke's side comfortably at the same time.]
We'll see what happens, I guess. Here I thought we'd had enough drama in our lives for the season.
Whatever else comes our way we'll take it on together. [ He motions to Montoya and the mabari jumps up onto the couch as well. Montoya makes himself comfortable half on Steven's lap and half on a cushion. ]
That way no one has to crumble under any circumstances.
[ Steve will be protected though. Hawke won't let anything happen to him. ] You seem to feel better though. Well, calmer.
[Steven's hand strokes down the mabari's head and neck in soothing strokes, the weight of him on his lap a familiar comfort by now, as is Hawke at his side. All that's really missing is Tut curled up somewhere nearby too.]
It's a deal. [He smiles up at Hawke from where he's resting on the man's shoulder, feeling safe with both of them here.]
It was such a shock, I guess I panicked. [A breathless little chuckle.] I've been away from home for so long, and Marc and Layla are here... I never thought I'd have to worry about anyone else showing up.
I would be shocked if any of my former enemies arrived. [ He'd actually be better with enemies arriving than his former lover. Hawke couldn't predict how he'd handle Anders. ]
Is there anyone else I should be on the watch for? [ He pauses a moment and then laughs. ] It's so hard to imagine you with enemies, love. You're so sweet and kind. It doesn't make sense in my head that anyone would threaten you or... or for any reason want you to dead.
[ Because Hawke has forgotten that it wasn't just Steven back home but Marc. They're wrapped up in each other. He really thinks of them as separate. ]
Let's not manifest it. [Steven groans quietly, knowing there's no hiding from Thirteen anyway, because she hears and sees all, he's convinced. Why would she bring Harrow here just when the drama in their lives settled down, after all?]
The only others I'd be worried about are the gods - especially Khonshu. [He wrinkles his nose at the thought.] Though, in this place, he'd probably just be an annoying twat - more so than usual. An independent one.
Like I mentioned, I only got wrapped up in all of this a few days before I arrived in Folkmore. It was all new to me, since I was kept in the dark all that time. [Marc and Layla's enemies became his own overnight.]
I would love to punch a God. [ He almost sounds wistful. Like he's been denied that chance all his life. Fighting the Chantry on some level has never quite scratched the itch of punching the Maker for how mages are treated. ]
Well, he can't force you to serve him here so he'd be nothing more than an annoyance. [ That Hawke could maybe punch. ] I wouldn't worry much about him.
And I know you and Marc are pretty set on keeping your condition secret but if this man does tell or try to blackmail we can spin some sort of story about Thirteen induced madness.
I think you'd have to get in line for that one. [He chuckles, imagining Hawke, Marc, and Layla wanting to have a go. Hell, even Harrow might. Steven wouldn't blame him.
Hawke's blind confidence is a relief though. It helps to hear the perspective from someone who isn't directly involved in the situation, who doesn't know these people. Steven hasn't had to think about any of it for so long, yet now it feels like just yesterday he'd met Harrow for the first time, being chased to work.]
Think people would believe it? 'Local man gone bonkers: Thirteen must've poisoned the fruit again!'
The one thing I learned while being Champion is that people will believe what suits them. You and Marc, to a certain extent, have a better reputation. This man's new and if he starts spouting what sounds like unbelievable... nonsense more people will trust your reputation than his.
[ He doesn't know that for sure, of course. Varric got people to believe absolute bullshit all the time but no one could spin a story like Varric. ]
Even more people like you. They'll want to believe you over this stranger.
[At the end of the day, Marc and Steven have made it more difficult on themselves by not being completely open, but being honest about their condition is hard. Especially for Marc. Steven doesn't blame him for wanting to keep it under wraps when most people simply wouldn't understand.
Hopefully Harrow has enough to worry about himself here to not even think about exposing them.]
You make fair points. [Steven hums quietly under his breath, then closes his eyes and leans heavily into the other, letting most of his seated weight rest on Hawke.] You're making me feel better already. Thank you, love.
I have other ways of making you feel better if words stop being effective. [ He wiggles his eyebrows but deep down Hawke is really pleased to know he's helped.
Comforting isn't always his strong suit since generally he's dealt with his friends problems by killing the source of those problems. He can't really do that here. ]
Or we can make dinner together, watch one of your movies, and go to bed to just sleep. Whatever you need, love.
[Steven finds the physical contact and validation of his feelings a wonderful combination of comfort - just what he needs, in fact. It's something he's gone without for so long, so now that he has it in someone like Hawke who cares for him, it's easy to lean into hard.
The hand stroking the mabari's head pets down an ear instead, making Montoya's eyes slip shut in comfort.]
I'm sorry my panicked reaction was to not come by. I think you're right that just continuing to live as normal is the best course of action. [A light sigh.] I am hungry...
I understand the feeling. I left all my friends behind when I went on the run to try to keep them safe. [ He shrugs. ] It's... logical in a way. If the danger is coming for me and the people I care about are no where close then they're safe.
[ He knows Steven cares and that's why he wanted Hawke far away. Whether or not that actually would protect him is debatable. ]
Well, one of us is going to have to get up to cook...
It couldn't have been easy. I can't imagine, really.
[One night away from Hawke hardly compares of course, though it makes him wonder if that was Marc's reasoning for leaving Steven and Layla in the dark for so many years. He's come to understand it better now.
The suggestion of getting up earns a protesting groan from him, his head knocking back down onto Hawke's shoulder instead.]
Maybe we should order take-away and stay on the couch as long as possible instead then.
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Steven worries his lip for a minute as he tries to figure out how to explain this without upsetting Hawke, but there really is no good way about it...]
Harrow technically... erm... killed us. Marc and I. [He shifts hands to squeeze Hawke's leg again instead.] But we survived as well. It's a long story. Layla and Khonshu saved us.
[Much as he hates to admit the bird god did anything to help them, he can't deny that.]
But no, he very much shot us with full intent of ending our lives, and it worked... for a while. It's hard to be remorseful for a man who was so quick to get rid of us simply for getting in his way.
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[ Now Hawke's wings do flare with a surge of bone deep anger. The sort of anger Hawke's felt only a few times in his life. Like the explosion at Kirkwall. Like listen to Danarius talk about Fenris as a possession. Like Meredith lecturing him on the danger of mages.
Oh, this Harrow has made an enemy in him. Hawke doesn't care about anything else. This man, no matter what, will see no sympathy or empathy from Hawke. Ever. ]
I don't think he deserves an bit of your remorse or pity or time of day. Let him rot here.
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A selfish part of him likes knowing that Hawke would be so upset on his behalf, so protective.]
I know. He really doesn't but- [But what? There's no good way to end that thought and Steven knows it.
He sighs again, tipping his head back against Hawke's arm as he gazes at the ceiling.]
It's strange. I would never thank him for it, obviously, but death brought Marc and I closer together. I learned the truth about myself. Everything I was kept in the dark about for so long. I... don't know if Marc would have ever explained it all to me had we not died. I know that sounds so bonkers.
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Oh, it's absolutely insane. [ There's nothing about this that sounds reasonable or rational or logical. Hawke is amused by that. ] But this place is also insane so what's the difference really?
[ He shrugs. ] You did come back to life, right? You weren't brought here from some afterlife? Because you said you stopped him?
[ Hawke believes that Steven would've told him about being dead when they were revealing deep truths to each other. ]
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Yes, we came back to life. It's a long story but we had to reunite with Khonshu, serve him again... [Steven has explained Khonshu and his powers to Hawke before, or at least done his best to.] But for a while... we were in the afterlife. A version of it at least. Seeing and experiencing that was-... it's changed my perspective on so much.
[He squirms in a little closer to Hawke.]
I don't know if the Chantry teaches anything about that? Do people in Thedas believe in life after death?
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"There's a realm beyond the Fade where souls go when we die to rest by the Maker's side," he explains. "That's the best we've got for an afterlife."
It's really the best he can offer. Hawke isn't a fan of the Chantry and he suspects he won't be going to the Maker's side when he dies. Mostly because of all the blasphemy.
"There used to be the Golden City but once Tevinter Magisters walked in that things were ruined."
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Yes, I remember reading about that Coryphallus fellow?
[The mispronunciation is totally unintentional, he swears...]
I'd say what we experienced was similar but, I suppose, it was more like the journey to the Maker's side, without quite reaching it. [He pauses, his voice quieting with fondness as he adds:] Actually, Marc himself reached it, but he abandoned that life of eternal peace to come back and save me, so. I can't be too upset, can I?
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Coryphius is the "proper" name but I like yours better. [ If that bastard ever shows up in Folkmore Hawke will have a grand old time killing him over and over and over again. ] He claimed to be one of the Magisters that walked in the Golden City but who knows how much of that is true.
[ It could be the ramblings of a Darkspawn gone mad in prison. Hawke doesn't know and frankly doesn't care much. ]
Oh, don't make me like your brother. [ He groans dramatically. ] I'm trying to have a good rivalry here.
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The reaction to Marc saving him earns a wider smile and Steven leans in to kiss his partner's cheek.]
You can still be rivals but respect him, yeah? Or at least be grateful he saved my life. [Steven's expression softens.] I don't want to think about the alternative. Not a fate I'd have wished upon my worst enemy.
[Another sigh, and Steven rests his head upon Hawke's shoulder.] I'm glad I can talk about these things freely now. Perhaps I'm being a little too cautious but better safe than sorry.
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[ That doesn't mean he and Marc will ever get along but he knows without Marc there is no Steven and that is not a thought Hawke likes to entertain for long. He's been there and does not want to be there again. ]
I'm glad for the warning. I'll be careful around him. Even if I believe I can handle him myself. [ He lets Steven get comfortable before making sure his arm is nice and secure around him. ] We can keep an eye on him together.
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[He reaches to put the half drunk tea down so he can pet Montoya's head freely again, and curl up into Hawke's side comfortably at the same time.]
We'll see what happens, I guess. Here I thought we'd had enough drama in our lives for the season.
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That way no one has to crumble under any circumstances.
[ Steve will be protected though. Hawke won't let anything happen to him. ] You seem to feel better though. Well, calmer.
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It's a deal. [He smiles up at Hawke from where he's resting on the man's shoulder, feeling safe with both of them here.]
It was such a shock, I guess I panicked. [A breathless little chuckle.] I've been away from home for so long, and Marc and Layla are here... I never thought I'd have to worry about anyone else showing up.
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Is there anyone else I should be on the watch for? [ He pauses a moment and then laughs. ] It's so hard to imagine you with enemies, love. You're so sweet and kind. It doesn't make sense in my head that anyone would threaten you or... or for any reason want you to dead.
[ Because Hawke has forgotten that it wasn't just Steven back home but Marc. They're wrapped up in each other. He really thinks of them as separate. ]
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The only others I'd be worried about are the gods - especially Khonshu. [He wrinkles his nose at the thought.] Though, in this place, he'd probably just be an annoying twat - more so than usual. An independent one.
Like I mentioned, I only got wrapped up in all of this a few days before I arrived in Folkmore. It was all new to me, since I was kept in the dark all that time. [Marc and Layla's enemies became his own overnight.]
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Well, he can't force you to serve him here so he'd be nothing more than an annoyance. [ That Hawke could maybe punch. ] I wouldn't worry much about him.
And I know you and Marc are pretty set on keeping your condition secret but if this man does tell or try to blackmail we can spin some sort of story about Thirteen induced madness.
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Hawke's blind confidence is a relief though. It helps to hear the perspective from someone who isn't directly involved in the situation, who doesn't know these people. Steven hasn't had to think about any of it for so long, yet now it feels like just yesterday he'd met Harrow for the first time, being chased to work.]
Think people would believe it? 'Local man gone bonkers: Thirteen must've poisoned the fruit again!'
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[ He doesn't know that for sure, of course. Varric got people to believe absolute bullshit all the time but no one could spin a story like Varric. ]
Even more people like you. They'll want to believe you over this stranger.
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Hopefully Harrow has enough to worry about himself here to not even think about exposing them.]
You make fair points. [Steven hums quietly under his breath, then closes his eyes and leans heavily into the other, letting most of his seated weight rest on Hawke.] You're making me feel better already. Thank you, love.
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Comforting isn't always his strong suit since generally he's dealt with his friends problems by killing the source of those problems. He can't really do that here. ]
Or we can make dinner together, watch one of your movies, and go to bed to just sleep. Whatever you need, love.
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[Steven finds the physical contact and validation of his feelings a wonderful combination of comfort - just what he needs, in fact. It's something he's gone without for so long, so now that he has it in someone like Hawke who cares for him, it's easy to lean into hard.
The hand stroking the mabari's head pets down an ear instead, making Montoya's eyes slip shut in comfort.]
I'm sorry my panicked reaction was to not come by. I think you're right that just continuing to live as normal is the best course of action. [A light sigh.] I am hungry...
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[ He knows Steven cares and that's why he wanted Hawke far away. Whether or not that actually would protect him is debatable. ]
Well, one of us is going to have to get up to cook...
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[One night away from Hawke hardly compares of course, though it makes him wonder if that was Marc's reasoning for leaving Steven and Layla in the dark for so many years. He's come to understand it better now.
The suggestion of getting up earns a protesting groan from him, his head knocking back down onto Hawke's shoulder instead.]
Maybe we should order take-away and stay on the couch as long as possible instead then.
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[ A night away from Steven would have been miserable knowing he was afraid. What he did back home was the choice he had to make thanks to Anders. ]
You've got a relic. [ He kisses the top of Steven's head. ] You can order something. Or I can get up and cook. You can cuddle Montoya until I'm done.
[ So Steven would still get his cuddles and Hawke could make sure he's fed. ]
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[He huffs indignantly, but playful, shifting just to grab his Relic from his pocket to find the delivery service he's used many times before.]
You have a very comfortable shoulder, love.
[And he doesn't regret coming here after all.]