[ Hawke falls back completely on the grass and then looks over at Steven with a sad little smile. ]
If you disappear, I'll be happy because you're home and safe but you will take a piece of my heart with you. I don't have many of those left.
[ He's been picking them up and putting things back together since arriving in Folkmore but he still hasn't put it all back together. And some has gone to Steven which means he has less. ]
When I was younger I would have thrown myself at you and hoped for the best without a care in the world for the consequences. I've lived the consequences of that recklessness. I want to be more careful but I also had a great time with you. I always do.
[He pops one last falafel into his mouth before opting to lean back on an arm beside Hawke, not quite lying down but giving him a good angle to look at his friend. Once again, Steven appreciates that honesty, though he isn't sure what to do knowing that Hawke has already formed such feelings for him. It's nice and makes him feel warm, and Steven knows he has something of a crush on him too, but he's just as afraid to dip his toes into the water, so to speak.]
That's the thing about this place, yeah? We never know what will come tomorrow, or the next day, but... I suppose that could be said for the lives we left behind too. People could disappear at any time then too, just... differently.
[Fingers pick at some of the grass between them nervously, though his expression is soft and empathetic.]
It does. [ He laughs a bit. ] It's... reassuring to know we'll both sort of fumble through this.
[ He has so few people back home. Those he has, he can't be with while the Chantry wants him dead. This place is where he can be with his friends like he really wants. ]
And maybe it is reckless and stupid of me to risk what's already been shattered but a part of me does wonder why I shouldn't let myself feel for you. You know? [ He shakes his head because that probably doesn't make sense. ]
I mean, this might be my only chance to have feelings for you. And see where they go, what it brings. That's a damn good reason to try, you know? Even if I am afraid.
I think it's very brave of you to try despite the fear. Despite knowing what's at risk. You're... doing it anyway. I could have easily hurt you already but I'm glad that wasn't the case.
[Steven would never want to hurt Hawke, intentionally or otherwise, and he's grateful that they seem on a similar page in terms of taking things as they come. Honestly, he has no idea what he's doing, and Hawke's own hesitance to protect his heart is smart, especially after what he'd experienced with his former lover.]
I-... I don't have much experience in any of this, you know. [He sounds and looks a little embarrassed about that.] To be completely clear with you. I have no bloody idea what I'm doing, I just enjoy spending time with you.
[ That he has absolute faith in. Steven wouldn't have hurt him on purpose. He would never pull the same bullshit that Anders pulled. Steven's just too honest for that. ]
It doesn't have to be anything more than that. [ He reaches over, takes Steven's hand, and laces their fingers together. ] We can spend time together like we have and see where these feelings take us.
[ Hawke's smile suddenly turns more flirtatious and ridiculous. ] And I'd like you to know that I am resisting all sorts of terrible jokes about taking right now.
I'd like that. [Even something simple like hand holding feels like so much right now and Steven is pleased by it, his eyes shifting color to reflect that spark of joy. He relaxes his hand and squeezes Hawke's fingers gently.
The comment earns a snort and playful roll of the eyes, and then Steven opts to lie down beside Hawke instead, keeping their hands together as their arms nudge up comfortably.]
I imagine it's very difficult for you to hold back. [A quiet chuckle.] Your restraint is admirable.
[ Hawke folds an arm behind his head as Steven settles down next to him. His heart picks up a little bit but tit's more comfortable lying around like this than thrilling. ]
I love bad jokes. I love flirtation. But I am trying to get better about keeping serious conversations serious. The second we're done talking about these feelings we have I am going to make an uncouth joke. Just you wait.
[ He squeezes Steven's hand. ]
But we can also watch the stars come out. I could tell you a few of the constellations back home. Which would be more impressive if we were looking at the correct sky.
[Hawke always makes Steven laugh, in any case, and now is no different. It helps ease some of the more serious tension in the air but Steven is also glad they can talk about these things. He'd rather they be out in the open and he knows Hawke doesn't have an issue with that either.]
And this is why I knew you'd love The Princess Bride, for the record.
[A happy little flutter courses through him at the hand squeeze, smiling as he looks up at the darkening sky. The sun is still setting but he doesn't mind lying here with Hawke for a while still.]
I would've brought a blanket if I thought of this ahead of time. Maybe some hot cocoa to make on the go. Hmmm... next time. [He hums quietly to himself.] I do wonder what the stars here are, if the spirits have named any of them and whatnot. It's very hard to get information about Folkmore beyond the tales in the libraries. I'd still love to hear about the stars in Thedas though.
[ He has that book by his bedside just in case he can't sleep and needs something to distract himself. It's still a very good story. ]
You should talk to the spirits more. They might tell you. [ He stretches a wing out and lays it through Steven so that its comfortable warmth settles along his back, in case the ground gets cold with the sun down. ] Usually, talking to the locals gets you the best information.
[ Spirits are better here than they are at home so he's talked to them a lot more than ones in the Fade. ]
Well, the one I first learned was Draconis. [ He grins shamelessly. Hawke has always loved dragons. ] It's a dragon in flight but the constellation looks more like a snake. Which is weird because dragons have wings and four legs and they don't look like snakes.
[ He draws it with little motes of fire above their heads. ]
They seem to get annoyed whenever I prod them at Kuma Lisa. Probably because I'm always asking questions. Maybe the wrong kind. [He chuckles, thinking of a time one of the spirits at the library literally flew away from him instead of answering a burning question he had about Thirteen. He's come to accept that now. Steven tends to stick his nose in places it shouldn't be.
He watches as Hawke draws in the sky with his magic, humming quietly to himself. He can't help but find the bits of fire beautiful.]
Maybe there used to be different kinds of dragons in your world's history? More snake-like ones? They must have evolved from somewhere. Makes me think of dinosaurs on Earth. The only remnants we have of those these days are certain creatures like sharks and birds though. Dragons are still very real for you though, yeah?
[Steven shifts a little and inadvertently leans closer up against Hawke, thumb rubbing along his where their hands are still clasped.] Marc seems fascinated by dragons. If you want to get along with him you only have to bring up the topic. Never seen him light up more about anything beyond movies.
You might also be asking the wrong way. [ There's endless fondness in Hawke's tone and he squeezes Steven's hand. ] Your directness might be the problem.
[ It's not a problem to Hawke, of course. He doesn't mind the million questions Steven can throw his way. Spirits are a bit more temperamental. ]
I don't know. We thought dragons were extinct for a long time, hunted out of existence but now they've come back. That's why this is known as the Dragon Age. Well, back home it is. [ He has no idea what Steven means by evolved. No one's taught Hawke that much modern science. He's still wrapping his mind around electricity. ]
What are dinosaurs? [ No one's explained that to him either. ]
I think Marc likes me! I bought him a drink, how can anyone resist after that. [ He's very optimistic about his chances to win Marc over. As Hawke always is. ]
If they've got something to hide then that only makes the information more pertinent, don't you think? It's suspicious. All the history I can find of this place is literally folktales from various worlds. It's intended to keep us in the dark. [Which Steven doesn't like. He is all about gathering information and knowledge, but Folkmore doesn't seem to have much of a history, and that's the strangest thing about this realm to him.
Alas, he knows there isn't much he can do about it... unless he wants to get into trouble.]
And you've seen them and fought them. That's brilliant. Mad, but brilliant... [His voice trails off thoughtfully, wondering what such a fight would look like. While he wouldn't want to partake himself or harm the creatures unless it's self defense, even Steven can admit the visual sounds cool.
He chuckles fondly at Hawke's optimism, turning his head to look at him instead of the sky.] I'll have to ask him after I get home and admit this was a date.
[ He shrugs. ] Maybe they're not allowed to tell you. Maybe Thirteen's made a rule to protect herself. Or it could be honest. This place could be made up by the people here. Like the Fade, it might be malleable.
[ He feels Steven's gaze on him but Hawke keeps looking at the stars, smiling softly. He figures he can give Steven a chance to look at him without making him nervous or self-conscious about it. ]
Well, they didn't give me a choice. They attack straight away. None of them are friendly like dragons can be here.
Wait, wait. [ Hawke turns to look at him now. ] You didn't tell Marc you were going on a date? What does he think you're doing?
I never thought of it that way. Considering how powerful Thirteen seems to be I've always assumed this place has been around longer than we think. Then again, maybe a realm outside of time doesn't really have a timeline. Maybe it doesn't matter.
[He isn't sure he'll ever get a satisfactory answer out of the spirits or anyone else, not even the fox herself.
He can't help but admire Hawke's profile in the fading light of the sunset, feeling momentarily like he's in a daydream rather than facing reality. Everything feels warm and good, and perhaps if he was braver or more sure of himself in this moment, he'd make a move.
Instead, Hawke is looking at him with confusion and Steven laughs under his breath, waving his free hand dismissively in the air.]
Trust me, it's for the best. If he knew this was a date he would've found a way to stalk us somehow, most likely in his Familiar form. Layla's helping out and distracting him for the evening so he doesn't really know anything's different. I'm just out with a mate. [Another gentle squeeze to Hawke's hand.] Which is still true, of course, but the word "date" gives it a whole new meaning, yeah? Marc is just... overprotective at times. He means well. I'm just being careful for now.
I've always thought of it as Fade-like. It's home to a bunch of spirits and can change, does change during certain times. We're changed by it and can be tempted into behavior we'd never do otherwise. I can't manipulate it like the Fade but we do seem to have an influence. [ Hawke shrugs again and rubs a hand across the back of his neck. ] Thinking of it like the Fade makes the most sense to me. I don't know if I'm right at all.
[ There are so many people here who are so much smarter than he is, not just when it comes to technology but magic itself. They studied it. Hawke sometimes feels like he's a fumbling child around them. ] You keep asking questions and you'll figure it out. You're smart like that. And stubborn.
[ He can't help but laugh at Steven's explanation. It's hilarious to think of an over protective brother which Hawke had rarely been with his own siblings, not once they were a certain age. ]
Oh, I can't wait for his reaction when you confess. [ He grins at Steven. ] You rebel. Sneaking around behind your brother's back. I'm clearly a terrible influence. He's going to hate me!
[ But that idea sends Hawke into another bout of laughter. ]
I can see some similarities. Not that I have any direct experience with the Fade, of course, but from what I've read and learned... I can see why you think so.
[Maybe Thirteen is indeed some Fade demon though and they're all trapped until they figure out the escape route themselves. Or maybe they're all actually dead and stuck in limbo somewhere. Steven could believe that too.]
You know me so well. [He grins.] Emphasis on the "stubborn" bit.
[Hawke's laughter is infectious and pulls Steven in with it, quieter and more subdued, but still genuine.]
Impossible! Like you said, you bought him a drink, you're already on his good side. I just didn't want to have to worry about him too on a first date of all things. Although... don't be surprised if he acts suspicious around you for a little while. It's all in good fun.
[ This is one of those moments where Hawke can clearly define himself as a person. Before Anders he would have done something bold and flirtatious. Maybe put himself over Steven and teased about giving Marc something to be suspicious about before going in for a kiss. He used to be so free and easy with his wants.
Now, he thinks it. He certainly thinks it but can't bring himself to be that forward. His heart pounds with excitement and nerves. The nerves win. Hawke can't. He just can't. ]
I don't mind. Truly. [ He smiles warmly at Steven to reassure him. ] If Marc decides to be a pain in the ass, he decides to be a pain in the ass. I'd like to take you on another date. Maybe something you find interesting? Or just a wandering adventure.
[ He strokes his thumb across Steven's hand. ] I'd just like to spend more time with you.
[ And maybe with enough time Hawke would find that boldness before. Steven certainly deserved someone unafraid to show their feelings with him. Maybe he could be that person again. ]
I found this very interesting, for the record. Hey, we even managed to get a vegan brew into potential production - that's brilliant work for a first date.
[Steven is smiling so much, that happy feeling fluttering around in his chest again at the sensation of Hawke's thumb casually running over his hand. The fact that they're still holding hands at all is making him deliriously happy in a way he knows would be foolish to say out loud, but he is happy. It's a nice realization.]
Then we will, yeah? Spend more time together, that is... and do a second date. [He's already made up his mind about that, the warmth in his chest blooming hot in his face too as he meets Hawke's warm smile with his own.] I'm just as happy to lay here under the stars with you as I am doing anything exciting, I promise.
[And after a moment, his lips quirking, he can't help but tack on a little inside joke of theirs:] Mr. Darcy could never get away with this.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
If you disappear, I'll be happy because you're home and safe but you will take a piece of my heart with you. I don't have many of those left.
[ He's been picking them up and putting things back together since arriving in Folkmore but he still hasn't put it all back together. And some has gone to Steven which means he has less. ]
When I was younger I would have thrown myself at you and hoped for the best without a care in the world for the consequences. I've lived the consequences of that recklessness. I want to be more careful but I also had a great time with you. I always do.
[ He shrugs. ]
I suppose I'll see what happens.
no subject
That's the thing about this place, yeah? We never know what will come tomorrow, or the next day, but... I suppose that could be said for the lives we left behind too. People could disappear at any time then too, just... differently.
[Fingers pick at some of the grass between them nervously, though his expression is soft and empathetic.]
I'm a bit scared too, if that helps.
no subject
[ He has so few people back home. Those he has, he can't be with while the Chantry wants him dead. This place is where he can be with his friends like he really wants. ]
And maybe it is reckless and stupid of me to risk what's already been shattered but a part of me does wonder why I shouldn't let myself feel for you. You know? [ He shakes his head because that probably doesn't make sense. ]
I mean, this might be my only chance to have feelings for you. And see where they go, what it brings. That's a damn good reason to try, you know? Even if I am afraid.
no subject
[Steven would never want to hurt Hawke, intentionally or otherwise, and he's grateful that they seem on a similar page in terms of taking things as they come. Honestly, he has no idea what he's doing, and Hawke's own hesitance to protect his heart is smart, especially after what he'd experienced with his former lover.]
I-... I don't have much experience in any of this, you know. [He sounds and looks a little embarrassed about that.] To be completely clear with you. I have no bloody idea what I'm doing, I just enjoy spending time with you.
no subject
[ That he has absolute faith in. Steven wouldn't have hurt him on purpose. He would never pull the same bullshit that Anders pulled. Steven's just too honest for that. ]
It doesn't have to be anything more than that. [ He reaches over, takes Steven's hand, and laces their fingers together. ] We can spend time together like we have and see where these feelings take us.
[ Hawke's smile suddenly turns more flirtatious and ridiculous. ] And I'd like you to know that I am resisting all sorts of terrible jokes about taking right now.
no subject
The comment earns a snort and playful roll of the eyes, and then Steven opts to lie down beside Hawke instead, keeping their hands together as their arms nudge up comfortably.]
I imagine it's very difficult for you to hold back. [A quiet chuckle.] Your restraint is admirable.
no subject
I love bad jokes. I love flirtation. But I am trying to get better about keeping serious conversations serious. The second we're done talking about these feelings we have I am going to make an uncouth joke. Just you wait.
[ He squeezes Steven's hand. ]
But we can also watch the stars come out. I could tell you a few of the constellations back home. Which would be more impressive if we were looking at the correct sky.
no subject
And this is why I knew you'd love The Princess Bride, for the record.
[A happy little flutter courses through him at the hand squeeze, smiling as he looks up at the darkening sky. The sun is still setting but he doesn't mind lying here with Hawke for a while still.]
I would've brought a blanket if I thought of this ahead of time. Maybe some hot cocoa to make on the go. Hmmm... next time. [He hums quietly to himself.] I do wonder what the stars here are, if the spirits have named any of them and whatnot. It's very hard to get information about Folkmore beyond the tales in the libraries. I'd still love to hear about the stars in Thedas though.
no subject
[ He has that book by his bedside just in case he can't sleep and needs something to distract himself. It's still a very good story. ]
You should talk to the spirits more. They might tell you. [ He stretches a wing out and lays it through Steven so that its comfortable warmth settles along his back, in case the ground gets cold with the sun down. ] Usually, talking to the locals gets you the best information.
[ Spirits are better here than they are at home so he's talked to them a lot more than ones in the Fade. ]
Well, the one I first learned was Draconis. [ He grins shamelessly. Hawke has always loved dragons. ] It's a dragon in flight but the constellation looks more like a snake. Which is weird because dragons have wings and four legs and they don't look like snakes.
[ He draws it with little motes of fire above their heads. ]
no subject
He watches as Hawke draws in the sky with his magic, humming quietly to himself. He can't help but find the bits of fire beautiful.]
Maybe there used to be different kinds of dragons in your world's history? More snake-like ones? They must have evolved from somewhere. Makes me think of dinosaurs on Earth. The only remnants we have of those these days are certain creatures like sharks and birds though. Dragons are still very real for you though, yeah?
[Steven shifts a little and inadvertently leans closer up against Hawke, thumb rubbing along his where their hands are still clasped.] Marc seems fascinated by dragons. If you want to get along with him you only have to bring up the topic. Never seen him light up more about anything beyond movies.
no subject
[ It's not a problem to Hawke, of course. He doesn't mind the million questions Steven can throw his way. Spirits are a bit more temperamental. ]
I don't know. We thought dragons were extinct for a long time, hunted out of existence but now they've come back. That's why this is known as the Dragon Age. Well, back home it is. [ He has no idea what Steven means by evolved. No one's taught Hawke that much modern science. He's still wrapping his mind around electricity. ]
What are dinosaurs? [ No one's explained that to him either. ]
I think Marc likes me! I bought him a drink, how can anyone resist after that. [ He's very optimistic about his chances to win Marc over. As Hawke always is. ]
no subject
Alas, he knows there isn't much he can do about it... unless he wants to get into trouble.]
And you've seen them and fought them. That's brilliant. Mad, but brilliant... [His voice trails off thoughtfully, wondering what such a fight would look like. While he wouldn't want to partake himself or harm the creatures unless it's self defense, even Steven can admit the visual sounds cool.
He chuckles fondly at Hawke's optimism, turning his head to look at him instead of the sky.] I'll have to ask him after I get home and admit this was a date.
no subject
[ He feels Steven's gaze on him but Hawke keeps looking at the stars, smiling softly. He figures he can give Steven a chance to look at him without making him nervous or self-conscious about it. ]
Well, they didn't give me a choice. They attack straight away. None of them are friendly like dragons can be here.
Wait, wait. [ Hawke turns to look at him now. ] You didn't tell Marc you were going on a date? What does he think you're doing?
no subject
[He isn't sure he'll ever get a satisfactory answer out of the spirits or anyone else, not even the fox herself.
He can't help but admire Hawke's profile in the fading light of the sunset, feeling momentarily like he's in a daydream rather than facing reality. Everything feels warm and good, and perhaps if he was braver or more sure of himself in this moment, he'd make a move.
Instead, Hawke is looking at him with confusion and Steven laughs under his breath, waving his free hand dismissively in the air.]
Trust me, it's for the best. If he knew this was a date he would've found a way to stalk us somehow, most likely in his Familiar form. Layla's helping out and distracting him for the evening so he doesn't really know anything's different. I'm just out with a mate. [Another gentle squeeze to Hawke's hand.] Which is still true, of course, but the word "date" gives it a whole new meaning, yeah? Marc is just... overprotective at times. He means well. I'm just being careful for now.
no subject
[ There are so many people here who are so much smarter than he is, not just when it comes to technology but magic itself. They studied it. Hawke sometimes feels like he's a fumbling child around them. ] You keep asking questions and you'll figure it out. You're smart like that. And stubborn.
[ He can't help but laugh at Steven's explanation. It's hilarious to think of an over protective brother which Hawke had rarely been with his own siblings, not once they were a certain age. ]
Oh, I can't wait for his reaction when you confess. [ He grins at Steven. ] You rebel. Sneaking around behind your brother's back. I'm clearly a terrible influence. He's going to hate me!
[ But that idea sends Hawke into another bout of laughter. ]
no subject
[Maybe Thirteen is indeed some Fade demon though and they're all trapped until they figure out the escape route themselves. Or maybe they're all actually dead and stuck in limbo somewhere. Steven could believe that too.]
You know me so well. [He grins.] Emphasis on the "stubborn" bit.
[Hawke's laughter is infectious and pulls Steven in with it, quieter and more subdued, but still genuine.]
Impossible! Like you said, you bought him a drink, you're already on his good side. I just didn't want to have to worry about him too on a first date of all things. Although... don't be surprised if he acts suspicious around you for a little while. It's all in good fun.
no subject
Now, he thinks it. He certainly thinks it but can't bring himself to be that forward. His heart pounds with excitement and nerves. The nerves win. Hawke can't. He just can't. ]
I don't mind. Truly. [ He smiles warmly at Steven to reassure him. ] If Marc decides to be a pain in the ass, he decides to be a pain in the ass. I'd like to take you on another date. Maybe something you find interesting? Or just a wandering adventure.
[ He strokes his thumb across Steven's hand. ] I'd just like to spend more time with you.
[ And maybe with enough time Hawke would find that boldness before. Steven certainly deserved someone unafraid to show their feelings with him. Maybe he could be that person again. ]
no subject
[Steven is smiling so much, that happy feeling fluttering around in his chest again at the sensation of Hawke's thumb casually running over his hand. The fact that they're still holding hands at all is making him deliriously happy in a way he knows would be foolish to say out loud, but he is happy. It's a nice realization.]
Then we will, yeah? Spend more time together, that is... and do a second date. [He's already made up his mind about that, the warmth in his chest blooming hot in his face too as he meets Hawke's warm smile with his own.] I'm just as happy to lay here under the stars with you as I am doing anything exciting, I promise.
[And after a moment, his lips quirking, he can't help but tack on a little inside joke of theirs:] Mr. Darcy could never get away with this.